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President Trump Fires National Security Adviser John Bolton


-You guys, Jennifer Lopez
is my guest tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] Jennifer is here promoting
her new movie, “Hustlers,” which is about
a group of strippers who steal money from wealthy men
on Wall Street. [ Cheers and applause ] Jennifer has done
the impossible — she made a movie
that both President Trump and Bernie Sanders can enjoy. [ Cheers and applause ] It’s impossible. -Yeah. -Let’s get to the big news
out of Washington. Earlier today, President Trump
announced over Twitter that he fired his national
security adviser, John Bolton. Yep, Trump tweeted Bolton’s
services were no longer needed and that he strongly disagreed
with many of his suggestions. Bolton thought we should
continue the war in Afghanistan, and Trump thought
we should continue the war with Chrissy Teigen. [ Laughter ] They didn’t agree on that. [ Applause ] Pretty soon
after Trump’s tweets, Bolton responded on Twitter
by saying, “I offered to resign last night,
and President Trump said, ‘Let’s talk about it tomorrow.'” [ Laughter ] Trump was like, “Technically
I am talking about it tomorrow.” I mean, Bolton really
should have seen this coming. Every kid on Earth knows
“let’s talk about it tomorrow” means you’re definitely
not getting that pony. Can we see a picture
of John Bolton? Yeah, now that he’s —
Now that he’s out of a job, Bolton said he’s going to
spend more time with his fellow walruses. [ Laughter ] I’m kidding. I’m just kidding.
I’m kidding. Bolton actually said
he’s gonna go head west and “go pan for gold
in dem der hills!” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] “Come on.
Aw, chicken scratch!” -“Ohh! Daggumit!” -It’s not all bad news
for Bolton. I mean, if he wants to keep
his job, he can just shave his mustache and show up
for work tomorrow. It’s like, “Who’s the new guy?
I like him. Welcome aboard.” But Trump says that he’ll name a new national security adviser
next week. I’m a little worried because so far his number -one choice
is The General. [ Laughter ] Some more news —
Last night, Trump went to North Carolina for a rally,
and right after he arrived, a bolt of lightning struck close
to Air Force One. Check it out. Look at this.
Ooh. It’s weird. For a few minutes,
everything Trump tweeted was spelled exactly right. [ Laughter ] -Wow.
-Thankfully everyone was fine. But I think we have a picture of the President
getting off the plane. Is that true?
Yeah, there he is. -That’s not good. [ Applause ] -But it’s smart for Trump
to hit the campaign trail because a new poll is showing his approval rating
is at just 38%. Trump didn’t seem too upset.
He was like, “The only polls I care about now
are the ones in strip clubs. Go see ‘Hustlers.’
Out this weekend.” [ Cheers and applause ] And now Trump
is doing the best he can to boost his approval rating. Today he took a Sharpie
and turned the 38 into an 88. -Ohh!
-Hey, this is big. Apple unveiled
its new iPhones today, and everyone’s excited
’cause the new version has three cameras on the back. -Ohh.
-Yeah. Apple says it takes
such clear selfies, you’ll find chins
you never knew you had. They also introduced
a new Frogger game for their Apple Arcade service. ‘Cause nothing says cutting-edge
like the hottest game from 1981. Guys, it’s currently Fashion
Week here in New York City. And this is exciting, right?
Fashion Week! [ Cheers and applause ] This year, many designers are showing off
some interesting new looks. For example,
one designer debuted something a little strange —
a bejeweled beard. Look at this. It’s actually part of
their Wolf Blitzer Collection. I saw one of the hot new trends
this year are tiny purses. Take a look at this. Yeah, perfect if you only
want to carry one Altoid. -Oh.
-Yeah. It’s tiny, but somehow it still takes you
10 minutes to find your keys. You’re like, “Where…?” I just heard that Kanye West
just purchased a $14-million ranch in Wyoming, where he’ll raise
horses and cattle. Yeah, horses and cattle. So, Kanye,
get ready to scoopy de poop. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Poopy-di scoop.
Scoopy de poop. And, finally,
there’s a new version of Monopoly out
called Ms. Monopoly, where women get paid
more than men. [ Cheers and applause ] There’s the box.
There’s the box right there. Yeah, the Monopoly Guy
got the boot, so between him and John Bolton, it’s been a rough day
for old guys with mustaches.

38 Comments

  1. Alyssa Zilka
    Alyssa Zilka September 11, 2019

    First

  2. Lasha Tavadze
    Lasha Tavadze September 11, 2019

    Second

  3. niran 007
    niran 007 September 11, 2019

    Third

  4. 009994f6234
    009994f6234 September 11, 2019

    Oh thank god the sane Jennifer. We could use some sanity.

  5. royston mason
    royston mason September 11, 2019

    Whats that on your head ?

  6. vsboy 25
    vsboy 25 September 11, 2019

    Stephen Miller should get the role

  7. Awesome Crafts
    Awesome Crafts September 11, 2019

    Yeo…… Just 310 views!! N he gets millions later!!! That's ridiculous….. Subscribe me plz plz

  8. Sam
    Sam September 11, 2019

    GUYS WiTH MUSTACHES!!!! WOAH! HA! HA! HA!

    And now back to sleep.

  9. Atif Khan
    Atif Khan September 11, 2019

    Still awake…!?

  10. Atif Khan
    Atif Khan September 11, 2019

    Lord Boltan is that you

  11. Atif Khan
    Atif Khan September 11, 2019

    I should be sleeping

  12. Atif Khan
    Atif Khan September 11, 2019

    10th

  13. Satyam K R
    Satyam K R September 11, 2019

    sooooo good

  14. Austen Tassletine
    Austen Tassletine September 11, 2019

    Trump fired Bolton because of optics for the upcoming election. His base hates Bolton. Trump will rehire Bolton if he gets reelected.

  15. Catty Clover
    Catty Clover September 11, 2019

    Maybe Chrissie Tiegen should take Bolton's job. She's smart and not evil, so she already has two more things going for her than anyone else in the administration, past or present.

  16. TIKTOK Clips
    TIKTOK Clips September 11, 2019

    Sub to me who wants to get$1000000000

  17. New Message
    New Message September 11, 2019

    Bolton can't spend more time with his fellow walruses.. there's no pack ice left for him anymore.

  18. Eduardo Grasso
    Eduardo Grasso September 11, 2019

    That monopoly thing is so dumb. Yeah, come at me, I don't care

  19. New Message
    New Message September 11, 2019

    "38%? That's over halfway there, Don! Good Job! Have a gold star!"
    – Betsy DeVos, on hearing the approval rating poll numbers.

  20. Anshupriya Singh
    Anshupriya Singh September 11, 2019

    🤣🤣

  21. Orangefan
    Orangefan September 11, 2019

    Tomorrow Trump will announce he's appointed John Bolton's son Ramsey to take over.

  22. LibHunk
    LibHunk September 11, 2019

    John Bolton is a crazy Lunatic SOB, a warmonger whose last wish is bomb few countries.
    Good Riddance.

  23. LibHunk
    LibHunk September 11, 2019

    John Bolton Mustaches was tickling Trump's Ass while kissing. That was negative.

  24. Ceco Elvisa
    Ceco Elvisa September 11, 2019

    What the fuck is wrong with 38 % of the voters ?!

  25. Lyla Zeus
    Lyla Zeus September 11, 2019

    🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤 you, Jimmy 😚

  26. Eric Skaggs
    Eric Skaggs September 11, 2019

    Beat Trump by supporting Bernie! Please donate to Bernie Sanders' 2020 Presidential campaign at…
    https://buckget.com/jobs/other/donate-to-bernie-sanders-presidential-campaign-2020/

  27. Jean Jones
    Jean Jones September 11, 2019

    I don't care who's in the White House, we're better off without war hawks like Bolton in the cabinet, never understood why Trump brought the warpig on board.

  28. ShredBetty
    ShredBetty September 11, 2019

    The Air Force One jet looks like it was photographed by Joel Meyerowitz (2:13).

  29. ShredBetty
    ShredBetty September 11, 2019

    Tiny purse looks like it is complemented with tiny brass knuckles jewelry (3:48).

  30. MagicSantos
    MagicSantos September 11, 2019

    If Thor gets angry "the orange clown" 🤡 better hide in his plane!⚡⚡👌👍😄😄

  31. Travis Landers
    Travis Landers September 11, 2019

    I like Jimmy Fallon a lot, but it seems like all he does in his monologues is talk about President Trump.

  32. China Moon
    China Moon September 11, 2019

    Fallop, a creepy stinky piece of shit

  33. marquis de queensbury
    marquis de queensbury September 11, 2019

    MAGA(lomaniac)DON…..BIG MOUTH…tiny fins….MELANIANARAS TRENCH,RELEASED A MAGA STENCH

  34. O. B.
    O. B. September 11, 2019

    (2:13) Better luck next time, GOD.

  35. atokeman
    atokeman September 11, 2019

    Compared to Steven Colbert this is like watching a teenager give a monologue. Easy to see why Steven is #1 in the ratings.

  36. Rick Rozoff
    Rick Rozoff September 11, 2019

    Yes, John Bolton joins the illustrious ranks of John Brennan, John McCain, George Bush, Sr., James Clapper, Andrew McCabe, James Comey, Robert Mueller, Christopher Steele, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page and other Resist! heroes.

  37. Vicky
    Vicky September 11, 2019

    😸

  38. 8 Pelagic
    8 Pelagic September 11, 2019

    Turned the 38 into an 88. I love your "sorry, not sorry" expression when the crowd groans.

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