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A Stupid President Saves Us From A Smart Warmonger


WELCOME, ONE AND ALL. TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND I HAVE NEVER, EVER– I HAVE
NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL FOR THE PRESIDENT’S PETTINESS AND
STUPIDITY.( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE TODAY HE WAS STUPIDLY PETTY ENOUGH TO SAVE US FROM A
VERY SMART WARMONGER. I’M TALKING ABOUT NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISER AND LAST WALRUS ON THE BEACH WITHOUT A MATE,
JOHN BOLTON.( LAUGHTER )
TODAY, WITH NO PUBLIC PREAMBLE, THE PRESIDENT TWEETED, “I
INFORMED JOHN BOLTON LAST NIGHT THAT HIS SERVICES ARE NO LONGER
NEEDED AT THE WHITE HOUSE.”( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND ANOTHER– ANOTHER GOODBYE! ANOTHER TRUMPLING BITES THE
DIMPLING OF DIRT.( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP GOES THROUGH STAFFERS LIKE A HIGH 17-YEAR-OLD GOES THROUGH
LITTLE DEBBIE SWISS ROLLS. WE KNEW THERE WAS BOUND TO BE
CONFLICT BETWEEN THESE TWO GUYS LIKE TWO RAMS BUTTING HEADS. IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN
EVENTUALLY BECAUSE TRUMP WAS VERY DOWN ON OUR MIDDLE EASTERN
WARS, WHEREAS BOLTON HAS NEVER SEEN A PATCH OF SAND HE DIDN’T
WANT TO MAKE GLOW. IN FACT, TRUMP HAS LONG
COMPLAINED PRIVATELY THAT MR. BOLTON WAS TOO WILLING TO
GET THE UNITED STATES INTO ANOTHER WAR, WITH TRUMP SAYING
BEHIND THE SCENES, “IF IT WAS UP TO JOHN, WE’D BE IN FOUR WARS
NOW.”( LAUGHTER )
AND I’M ALREADY IN SO MANY WARS: TRADE WAR. CUPCAKE WAR. I’M IN A FLAME WAR WITH CHRISSY
TIEGEN, AND WORLD WAR II, WHAT IF THE
NAZIS HAD WON?” PLUS, BACK IN MAY, TRUMP SAID
THIS:>>JOHN IS A– HE HAS STRONG
VIEWS ON THINGS, BUT THAT’S OKAY. I ACTUALLY TEMPER JOHN, WHICH
IS PRETTY AMAZING, ISN’T IT? NOBODY THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO
HAP– I’M THE ONE THAT TEMPERS HIM.”>>Stephen: SO, DONALD TRUMP IS
THE VOICE OF REASON?( LAUGHTER )
(AS TRUMP) “JOHN, JOHN. YOU’RE TALKING CRAZY, OKAY? NOW, CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO
DISCUSSING WINDMILL CANCER.” TRUMP CONCLUDED, “AND,
THEREFORE– DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT– I ASKED
JOHN FOR HIS RESIGNATION, WHICH WAS GIVEN TO ME THIS MORNING.” OKAY, THE PRESIDENT IS MAKING A
SIMPLE STATEMENT OF FACT, SO IT’S PROBABLY A LIE.( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE 12 MINUTES AFTER TRUMP’S ANNOUNCEMENT, BOLTON TWEETED,
“I OFFERED TO RESIGN LAST NIGHT, AND PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID, ‘LET’S
TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW.'”( LAUGHTER )
OH, JOHN! “YES, JOHN, WE’LL TALK TOMORROW. NOW, I WANT YOU TO LOOK INTO THE
DISTANCE WHILE I TELL YOU ABOUT RABBITS.”( LAUGHTER )
STEINBECK REFERENCE. THE ANNOUNCEMENT WAS A COMPLETE
SURPRISE, ESPECIALLY SINCE THE TWEET CAME ABOUT 90 MINUTES
BEFORE BOLTON WAS EXPECTED TO APPEAR AT A PRESS BRIEFING WITH
SECRETARY OF STATE MIKE POMPEO AND TREASURY SECRETARY STEVEN
MNUCHIN. OH, NO. YOU LEFT THE ‘NUCH HANGING?( LAUGHTER )
(AS MNUCHIN) “I’M SORRY JOHN BOLTON COULDN’T
BE HERE. JOHN BOLTON COULDN’T BE HERE
TODAY. INSTEAD, THE ROLE OF NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISOR WILL BE FILLED BY THIS TASK RABBIT I HIRED. FOR TEN BUCKS AN HOUR, HE GIVES
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVICE AND ASSEMBLES IKEA FURNITURE AND
TELLS US WHO TO BOMB.” BACK IN MARCH OF 2018, BOLTON
ALMOST WASN’T HIRED IN THE FIRST PLACE. APPARENTLY, MR. TRUMP HESITATED,
IN PART BECAUSE OF HIS NEGATIVE REACTION TO MR. BOLTON’S
WALRUS-STYLE MUSTACHE. IRONICALLY, WHILE BOLTON IS
LEAVING, THE MUSTACHE IS STAYING ON AS STEPHEN MILLER’S NEW
HAIRPIECE.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IT’S YOUTHIFYING. TRUMP PROMISED, “I WILL BE
NAMING A NEW NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR NEXT WEEK.” WHO WILL IT BE? WELL, WE KNOW TRUMP PICKED
BOLTON BECAUSE HE SAW HIM ON FOX NEWS. SO GET READY FOR NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISER, MY PILLOW GUY.( LAUGHTER )
AND AS HE THOUGHT ABOUT DUMPING HIS CURRENT NATIONAL SECURITY
ADVISOR, TRUMP STARTED REMINISCING ABOUT HIS EX: FORMER
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR H.R. McMASTER, SEEN HERE SHOWING
HE’S WILLING TO SIT DOWN WITH AMERICA’S ENEMIES. BECAUSE IT’S BEEN REPORTED THAT
TRUMP BEGAN CALLING H.R. McMASTER LAST YEAR, TO SAY
HE MISSES HIM.( LAUGHTER )
(AS TRUMP) “IT’S BEEN SO DIFFERENT SINCE
YOU LEFT. NOW WHEN THEY SAY, ‘H.R. WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU,’ IT’S FOR MUCH WORSE REASONS.”( LAUGHTER )
AFTER DISPATCHING BOLTON TO THE WHITE HOUSE BONEYARD, TRUMP
ADDRESSED THE CONFERENCE OF HISTORICALLY BLACK COLLEGES AND
UNIVERSITIES. I DID NOTE SEE THAT ONE COMING. HE GAVE A MOSTLY ON-PROMPTER
ADDRESS, EXCEPT FOR A FEW UNSCHEDULED MOUTH DETOURS.>>YOU HAVE NEVER STOPPED
WORKING TO IMPROVE THIS COUNTRY– AND YOU– DER– THE
GOVERNMENT. YOU HAVE TO JUST KEEP GOING.>>Stephen: I THINK HIS BRAIN
JUST TRIED TO HIT THE BRAKES THEN SPUN OUT ON A
PATCH OF ICE. (AS TRUMP)
“YOU HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR THHIISS DERRRAAAAUUURRRR…( LAUGHTER )
HAAAH… BRRR– JUST KEEP GOING. THEY’LL NEVER KNOW YOU
SNEEEERRRROURRRRAMMMM.” THEN TRUMP BAILED OUT HIS
SINKING CANOE, AND TOLD THOSE IN ATTENDANCE TO KEEP THEIR FEET ON
THE GROUND AND REACH FOR THE LOWEST STARS THEY CAN.>>NASA IS EXPANDING OUTREACH TO
H.B.C.U. STUDENTS WHO WANT TO BECOME SCIENTISTS, ENGINEERS,
AND EVEN ASTRONAUTS. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE
ASTRONAUT. I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT. HOW ABOUT YOU? DOES ANYBODY WANT TO BE AN
ASTRONAUT?>>Stephen: WHAT KIND OF
PRESIDENT ARE YOU?( LAUGHTER )
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! FOR PETE’S SAKE, BEING AN
ASTRONAUT IS THE STEREOTYPICALLY AMERICAN
ASPIRATION FOR GREATNESS. YOU DON’T WANT TO BE AN
ASTRONAUT? OH, I’M SORRY. YOU’D RATHER BE A COSMONAUT. I FORGOT. TRUMP THEN–
( APPLAUSE )
I FORGOT. I FORGOT.( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP THEN TOOK TIME TO RECOGNIZE SOME FOLKS IN THE ROOM
AND SOME THAT WERE NOT IN THE ROOM.>>I ALSO WANT TO RECOGNIZE OUR
TERRIFIC EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE WHITE HOUSE’S H.B.C.U.’S
INITIATIVE, JONATHAN HOLIFIELD. WHERE IS JONATHAN.( APPLAUSE )
AND I WANT TO TELL YOU, EVANDER HOLYFIELD IS A FRIEND OF MINE,
AND HE COULD FIGHT. YOU ALWAYS KNEW WHEN YOU WENT IN
THE RING WITH EVANDER, HE MAY BE 50 POUNDS LIGHTER, BUT YOU KNEW
IT WAS GOING TO BE A TOUGH NIGHT OUT THERE FOR YOU.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“HOLYFIELD GOT HIS EAR BITTEN BY MIKE TYSON. AND I TELL YOU, I KNOW TYSON
CHICKEN NUGGETS VERY WELL, THEY’RE DELICIOUS. WHICH REMINDS ME OF THE DENVER
NUGGETS. AND, OF COURSE, I HAPPEN TO KNOW
JOHN DENVER. HE WROTE ‘ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH’
AND I BET A LOT OF YOU OUT THERE WATCHING ME FREE-ASSOCIATE FEEL
LIKE YOU’RE HIGH RIGHT NOW.” TRUMP–
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TRUMP ENVISIONED A FUTURE WHEN
SOME OF THE STUDENTS IN FRONT OF HIM MIGHT BECOME PRESIDENT.>>YOU ARE ALL GOING TO MAKE
BETTER DEALS THAN THAT. YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME WHEN
YOU’RE UP HERE SOMEDAY– ONE OF YOU OR TWO OF YOU OR THREE OF
YOU– AT DIFFERENT TIMES, OF COURSE. YOU’LL BE UP HERE.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“AND WHETHER ONE, TWO, OR THREE OF YOU MAKE IT TO THIS
INCREDIBLE SEAT OF POWER, I PROMISE TO SPREAD RUMORS THAT
ALL OF YOU WERE BORN IN KENYA.” THAT’S MY PROMISE.

100 Comments

  1. Khouri AS
    Khouri AS September 11, 2019

    Trump mostly wants to be popular & if he starts another war it'll irreparably sink him after the US' endless wars & war-weariness, but at least he knows that. Whether he realizes it or not, he's got his panem et circenses down-pat with his base, and the msm are lapping it up so hard he got them spinning – but hey, that's the reality show.

  2. josh grant
    josh grant September 11, 2019

    Angry Geppetto says: Bomb Iran!

  3. Hassan Qayyum
    Hassan Qayyum September 11, 2019

    Jesus Colbert is so unfunny lol…. Compare this to David Letterman

  4. Michele Olson
    Michele Olson September 11, 2019

    It's like Trump's handlers put him on muscle relaxers/downers b4 certain non-maga speaking engagements.

  5. NewhamMatt
    NewhamMatt September 11, 2019

    I got the Of Mice and Men Reference! I feel smart!

  6. Tim Kiehl
    Tim Kiehl September 11, 2019

    Speaking of Nazi's winning WW2 https://airplayn.wordpress.com/2018/07/07/how-fascism-won-wwii-long-after-the-final-shot-was-fired-2/

  7. SpeedingSideway STi
    SpeedingSideway STi September 11, 2019

    Is this the monologue or the meanwhile session? Cuz it seems that @3:47 Stephen slips a meanwhile’s meanwhile

  8. ClareViewPhotography
    ClareViewPhotography September 11, 2019

    I hate tRump with every fiber of my being, but I will give him one thing; he hates war. I appreciate that he doesn’t want to get involved in wars.

    There…that’s the one nice thing I have to say about him. However, I wish he’d stop going to war with the environment.

  9. Loan TRAN-THANH
    Loan TRAN-THANH September 11, 2019

    Trump did not save us, he spared us more taxpayer’s money and the pain of going through new wars, since he, himself has gone to war at the border and diverted the Defense department money there. Chose your war, John!

  10. Choong Hooi Lim
    Choong Hooi Lim September 11, 2019

    The new National Security Adviser is Ivanka Trump………

  11. Ivo mijnnaam
    Ivo mijnnaam September 11, 2019

    Yeah ya did Mnuchin again good times good times…. haha pissing my pants here….. keep doing him Stevie, you are so and soooo good when you do him….hahaha ………fuckkkk this is killing me …. AGAIN………….. keep doing him not to often not to often just euh ones every week every euh 2 weeks yeah come one…. just for a couple of seconds even Trumpy boys fire his ass….. keep doing Mnuchin….. come on Stevie don't be cruel….

  12. pantermina
    pantermina September 11, 2019

    Is gon be the U.N. biaatch!!!!

  13. EEN9B
    EEN9B September 11, 2019

    Mr Trump keeps hiring & firing ''the best people''.

  14. mike
    mike September 11, 2019

    Colbert is not funny. Just another white guy with a suit on.

  15. Audrey Muzingo
    Audrey Muzingo September 11, 2019

    Sad how the audience didn't get the 'Of Mice And Men' reference.

  16. DroneXFun
    DroneXFun September 11, 2019

    "Tell me about the rabbits George".

  17. randomcracka3
    randomcracka3 September 11, 2019

    5:35 hahaha DEEERRRR Fic government

  18. Kenneth Tagarook
    Kenneth Tagarook September 11, 2019

    That picture of Miller with Bolton Stache Hair will haunt my dreams for life.

  19. David Gilder
    David Gilder September 11, 2019

    I still think Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield shoud have another Don King old man made match. I mean, if I was Holyfield? I would want an opportunity to bite Tyson's ear off.

  20. alaffia rose
    alaffia rose September 11, 2019

    Burn!!!

  21. Dewayne Thomas
    Dewayne Thomas September 11, 2019

    John Yang? https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1321500958013394&set=a.1254679514695539&type=3&theater

  22. LordAaronus
    LordAaronus September 11, 2019

    of course Trump's brain can't process the idea of black people doing anything

  23. Tee X
    Tee X September 11, 2019

    Facts matters https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jun/06/us-syria-iraq-isis-islamic-state-strikes-death-toll

  24. Phil Stehle
    Phil Stehle September 11, 2019

    All of trumps speeches sound like the ramblings of the town drunk ,this surreal nightmare needs to end in 2020

  25. cynthia van teylingen
    cynthia van teylingen September 11, 2019

    Astronaut american way to greatnes o wait russia cosmonaut hahahahhahahahahahhaha

  26. lisa koola
    lisa koola September 11, 2019

    hello ladies and gentlemen
    i’m a FAN of Stephen Colbert

  27. daryl H
    daryl H September 11, 2019

    Aderral !!!

  28. Manda
    Manda September 11, 2019

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day, I guess.

  29. MrCallipygous
    MrCallipygous September 11, 2019

    Wait, wait, I got it. It was Bolton who wanted to nuke Dorian! When Rump backed off, Bolton produced a map showing the storm was headed for AL in hopes of getting it approved. Trump, tired of taking criticism for the map, fired Bolton and his mustache.

  30. ellisv75
    ellisv75 September 11, 2019

    Bolton sounds like he would get along with Clinton, they have similar views on foreign policy.

  31. James anonymous
    James anonymous September 11, 2019

    late show with canned audience response, filling in for those dozing in the studio, hosted by stand-up comedian between jobs !

  32. Mark Scott Staggs
    Mark Scott Staggs September 11, 2019

    No you have incorrect again Colbert. It is the duty of a cabinate member to carry out the will of the president. Bolton wanted more aggressive military policies Trump did not wish to go down that path. Smart president stupid Bolton.

  33. Mary Anne Kain
    Mary Anne Kain September 11, 2019

    Another one bites the dust…

  34. Daniel Normand
    Daniel Normand September 11, 2019

    He said who wants to be astronauts yet he just formed space force.

  35. polite critique
    polite critique September 11, 2019

    Trump desperate to get better polls for 2020. That's why he kicked out by teams jevv agent Bolton. Everyone go on trumps twitter and make trump fire agent pompeo aswell

  36. redwolfcanisrufus
    redwolfcanisrufus September 11, 2019

    House Bolton falls in fantasy and now irl 😀

  37. Ethan H
    Ethan H September 11, 2019

    Bolten is a crazy warmonger. Colbert=Comedy Propaganda

  38. Aaliya m
    Aaliya m September 11, 2019

    Only Donnie can hire the worst people and fire them and get credit for it. What is going on he hired them in the first place I guess his base think he draining the swamp.

  39. tonydotkaze
    tonydotkaze September 11, 2019

    Bolton quit the day before – Trump beat him to Twitter by pretending to fire him first. He's a child.

  40. mohin pat
    mohin pat September 11, 2019

    I just called to say I looooovvvvveeee you – Stevie Wonder…..

  41. Craig Keller
    Craig Keller September 11, 2019

    Staff is wondering who’s next.

  42. Andrew D
    Andrew D September 11, 2019

    Colbert is one of the best 👊

  43. Chipmunk Tubetop
    Chipmunk Tubetop September 11, 2019

    All black people named Holyfield are related.

  44. capitan
    capitan September 11, 2019

    I was really hoping Dana Carvey would return for another Bolton impression

  45. joseph baldwin
    joseph baldwin September 11, 2019

    Great decision

  46. Taylor Newell
    Taylor Newell September 11, 2019

    People find this funny? Jesus… The world is in trouble.

  47. Sad P
    Sad P September 11, 2019

    Colbert’s Trump is actually the best. I say better than Alec B.

  48. Dark Angel
    Dark Angel September 11, 2019

    Trump just goes off on a tangent that never ends :O

  49. Enterprise1701J
    Enterprise1701J September 11, 2019

    I…cannot believe…Bolton’s mustache looked better on Miller’s head lmao!

  50. Pilot
    Pilot September 11, 2019

    Thank God that asshole is out. May he retire in pieces. ( But never forget who hired him)

  51. AvangionQ
    AvangionQ September 11, 2019

    2:52 Judging by the lack of applause, nobody got the "of mice and men" reference … 🐇

  52. James anonymous
    James anonymous September 11, 2019

    this guy,this show, should be "Rated,,,,Adolescence Only", Not fit for "Mature Audiences", of normal intelligence! or equivalent.

  53. David McIntosh
    David McIntosh September 11, 2019

    Don’t lose focus.

    He’s defunding European defenses against Russia.

    This is just a another jingling set of keys

  54. TODD HAAK
    TODD HAAK September 11, 2019

    What happend to the days when you could turn on a late show for some comedy ! And escape the heavier issues like politics !

  55. Demonaxis
    Demonaxis September 11, 2019

    Excellent political commentary aside, this is probably the classiest I've ever seen Stephen dress – that tie with that suit is 10/10.

  56. Jack pine Savage
    Jack pine Savage September 11, 2019

    Somewhere in America, John Bolton is banging his head against a tree, muttering to himself, "dang it! I wanted some gun play overseas!"

  57. Andre Williams
    Andre Williams September 11, 2019

    “Rather be a cosmonaut” 😂🤣😂

  58. Ann Mitchell
    Ann Mitchell September 11, 2019

    Sooo Trump fires Mr Chips….!

  59. Oma Cool
    Oma Cool September 11, 2019

    AWSOME! WHO KNEW! HE HAS MOMENTS OF CLARITY. PROBABLY THE SINGLE BEST THING HES EVER DONE. MANUCHEN NEEDS TO BE NEXT. MILLER NEEDS TO BE EXILED TOO. THE MY PILLOW GUY IS A FASCIST- NO JOKE.
    POOR TRUMP. ITS NOT HIS FAULT. HES SICK.
    WE NEED TO LET HIM RESIGN IN PEACE. AS LONG AS HE GOES QUIETLY WE SHIULD GIVE HIM A BREAK….AS LONG AS HE PAYS FOR ALL BUT 4 VACATIONS A YR. THAT REALLY WAS EXCESSIVE. BUT YA KNOW THAT MIGHT BE LITTLE ENOUGH TO PAY TO GET HIM TO GO. SHOWING HIM MERCY MAY BE ALL THAT SAVES ALL OF US IN THE END.
    MERCY IS SUBLIME.

  60. Evelyn Bertresse
    Evelyn Bertresse September 11, 2019

    Why did he get invited to speak there! You know, sometimes I feel sorry for tRump….he looked soooo pitiful there! Smh!

  61. dave d
    dave d September 11, 2019

    Colbert & his followers = Leftwing Supremacists. Filled with nothing but hatred and arrogance and disrespect.

  62. Pam Timmins
    Pam Timmins September 11, 2019

    Getting Trump to stay on point is like catching air, impossible. Listening to him read a teleprompter is painful. Trump is the worst at giving speeches, he is manic possibly bipolor. So let's make a list of Trump's many disorders; narcissistic, ocd, bipolor, sociopath oh yeah it is going to be a long 15 months until we can get rid of this stain on America….keep us laughing Stephen, before the reality of Trump world gets the better of us all….Good riddance Bolton Trump will pick another acting toadie until Trump is no more.

  63. Ertjies B
    Ertjies B September 11, 2019

    This was awesome!!

  64. Jeff Berg
    Jeff Berg September 11, 2019

    Why don't you have Condi on again….that's your real wheelhouse.

  65. HitchensImmortal
    HitchensImmortal September 11, 2019

    What's the fucking difference? There's still Pompeo.

  66. bird271828
    bird271828 September 11, 2019

    How did this idiot become president? Oh yes, he won the election by winning the lesser of the popular votes. 🤦‍♀️

  67. dannyboy765ify
    dannyboy765ify September 11, 2019

    Even when praising Trump for ousting a warmonger, Colbert still has to present it from the perspective of Trump being some sort of doofus. Nothing Trump does is really good in his and his audiences' eyes, and if something he does has a good outcome, its despite his competence. I just can't comprehend this world Colbert lives in where everything is so black and white.

  68. PointingOutObvious
    PointingOutObvious September 11, 2019

    Bolton is a warmonger, but he isn't smart. He looks and act like one of them incompetent at life idiot who's always telling people he was in special op force.

  69. Jay R
    Jay R September 11, 2019

    If Bolton tash was darker he would look like Hitler.

  70. Jeff Berg
    Jeff Berg September 11, 2019

    Perfect…..more Red Baiting……..and to think we once had hopes for this centrist/corporate shill.

  71. Elysian fielder
    Elysian fielder September 11, 2019

    Jesus H Christ…. the tenuous assumptions that Colbert makes to appear funny are excruciating!!!
    Trump favours other means of settling issues over war mongering…. and fuckwits like this have to spin simple staff management as being on the basis of mental impairment….. What a douche Colbert is….. and his Trump impression….. Pathetic!!! 🤦‍♂️

  72. Letitia Jeavons
    Letitia Jeavons September 11, 2019

    Little Debbie Stephen? As a Philly area girl, I really think you should switch to TastyCakes.

  73. A.I
    A.I September 11, 2019

    Hey Colbert Isaac kappy said you were a PEDOPHILE before he died

  74. Jay R
    Jay R September 11, 2019

    Could you imagine trump with a mustache and beard. Haha

  75. Augus J Veraero
    Augus J Veraero September 11, 2019

    He is right, you know. Iran, North Korea, China, and Russia. Bolton wanted to war with all of them at the same time.

  76. Jim P
    Jim P September 11, 2019

    Seems all the "best people" are out the revolving door with great frequency… how many is this now? Lets hope tRump fires himself, next.

  77. Lorna Ginette Harrison
    Lorna Ginette Harrison September 11, 2019

    Here’s a handy template for anyone else considering their "resignation" from Trump’s Administration:-
    "I’m resigning to…
    [a] …spend more time with my conscience!"
    [b] …have reconstructive surgery to repair my damaged conscience, after its complete & utter destruction, directly due to repeated exposure from close proximity to Donald Trump!" or
    [c] …receive a conscience transplant, generously donated by somebody with an actual fully functioning altruistic soul!" [Please delete as appropriate!]

  78. Unfitproduct Airborne
    Unfitproduct Airborne September 11, 2019

    So how can I inform Trump that his services are no longer needed. Who do I need to contact? I need phone numbers people.

  79. bird271828
    bird271828 September 11, 2019

    3:21 Mnuchin 😀😁😂🤣

  80. mrseaweed1000
    mrseaweed1000 September 11, 2019

    Stephen has a lot of decent impressions, but his Mnuchin is pure gold 😆

  81. Eric ausm Osten
    Eric ausm Osten September 11, 2019

    Steinbeck <3

  82. corey
    corey September 11, 2019

    God shut up trump was much better than Obama

  83. Ungha Bungha
    Ungha Bungha September 11, 2019

    This unfunny tool clapped like a trained seal while Obama and Biden and Hillary wasted trillions warmongering for the Islamic Spring and building slave markets in Libya.

  84. Marckenz D
    Marckenz D September 11, 2019

    Was that an “Of Mice and Men” reference lmao…. Dammit Lennie

  85. Common Sense
    Common Sense September 11, 2019

    YOU ARE A REPULSIVE MOCKER. YOU ARE WORST THAT A PARASITE eats the goodness of this great Nation and DESTROYING ITS UNITED. UNPATRIOTIC GROTEST CLOWN.

  86. SpectroMan
    SpectroMan September 11, 2019

    Stephen is there someone in your staff who's left or something? Your production and YouTube video titles are getting a bit lazy since your last holiday

  87. magna czagany
    magna czagany September 11, 2019

    Well, I heard that the Norwegians were talking about giving a Nobel peace prize to the negotiators in Afghanistan so Trump cancelled everything out of envy.

  88. Crystal Rose
    Crystal Rose September 11, 2019

    I guess I can now thank my English teacher for making me read "Of Mice and Men" (even though I thought it was a horrid book) because a joke on Stephen Colbert didn't go over my head. I mean there were tons of jokes in Looney Tunes that I totally didn't get as a kid because I hadn't read that terrible book yet. So I guess thanks, English teacher whose name I don't remember, because I definitely wasn't thankful back then when forced to read that book. (Apologies to any "Of Mice and Men" fans…I just thought most of the books I was forced to read in high school were terrible…but, hey, if I never read them, I wouldn't get all these great jokes alluding to them!)

  89. Frantz Azemard
    Frantz Azemard September 11, 2019

    Cosmonaut lmao

  90. Glyn Jones
    Glyn Jones September 11, 2019

    If Bolton was fired, it may be the first thing the Trumpster has done that makes sense though he did hire him in the first place which makes that weird if nothing else.. If he quit, it may well be a case of one of the rats deserting a sinking ship. Either way, the world is well rid of this Sh.t for Brains!!! Now! for the main act, let's do something about the Russian Agent Orange.

  91. William Teeple
    William Teeple September 11, 2019

    I got the Steinbeck reference (Of Mice and Men, folks… read more)

  92. minitanksandchairs
    minitanksandchairs September 11, 2019

    Has he had a stroke?

  93. Ash Walton
    Ash Walton September 11, 2019

    Another one bites the dust ✅

  94. Jacqueline Leubin
    Jacqueline Leubin September 11, 2019

    Trump speaks like he's bored, specially when he reads from the screen..

  95. faisal13 khawaja
    faisal13 khawaja September 11, 2019

    U know I'm so happy to say that if it was Hilary we would have been in a hole lot of wars all against innocent Muslims in the middle east those people have nothing to do with anything that the dems and rep say they do 911 no isreal all in it !!!!

  96. GorillaGuerilla
    GorillaGuerilla September 11, 2019

    Now given the fact that Trump always replace them with someone even worse – I'm thinking, WHO the f**k will he replace Bolton with?
    The ghost of Hitler?

  97. Betty Thomas
    Betty Thomas September 11, 2019

    Do any of you remember SOAP?

    Netflix should remake it & bring it back its PERFECT for this presidency.

  98. andrewszombie
    andrewszombie September 11, 2019

    5:20 https://youtu.be/CblFAxQ9cmU 😂😂😂

  99. rocky
    rocky September 11, 2019

    Trump: I hire the best colonel sanders. I liked my fried chicken mustachio until I fried him.
    see that is how much sense the presidNOT makes. VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO. DRAIN THE TRUMP!!!!

  100. Suzanna Giddens
    Suzanna Giddens September 11, 2019

    Awww…. He's trying to read from the teleprompter…seems like it was scrolling too quickly. 😀

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